Lee Chabin, Esq. Mediation Services & Collaborative Law

Divorce, Family and other Matters

In NYC & Long Island

Online throughout NYS

ph: 917-864-6823 ------------ 718-229-6149
lee_chabin@lc-mediate.com

Frequently Asked Questions - Divorce Mediation

HOW DOES MEDIATION WORK?

The mediator:

· sits with you and your spouse in the same room;

· helps you identify all of the issues to be addressed;

· assists you in gathering and sharing information so you can make informed decisions;

· helps you explore your needs, and to develop options to meet those needs; and

· helps you both to negotiate fairly.

IS THERE A RETAINER, LIKE FOR LAWYERS?

No, there isn't any retainer. You pay as you go, doing so at the end of each session.

I (CAN) HAVE A LAWYER.

WHY SHOULD I CONSIDER MEDIATION?

Here are four reasons:

1. A settlement can be reached quickly, usually within two to three months (attorneys and the court system take many months, and often years).

2. Save money. A wife and husband share the mediator’s fee (rather than pay for two lawyers).

And, since mediation is generally much faster than litigation, you will likely pay for far fewer hours of a professional’s time.

3. Mediation is not adversarial. It encourages the parties to develop an agreement together, to meet both of their needs. And when children are involved, cooperation is especially important.

4. A high adherence rate. Simply put, people who mediate—who reach their own agreements— are more likely to stick to their agreements, than those who have solutions imposed upon them by a judge.

ARE AGREEMENTS BINDING?

Yes. In the same way that an attorney would write the legal document necessary to become divorced in New York State (a "Separation Agreement"), the same document will be prepared following mediation.

Once the separation agreement is prepared, mediation participants are strongly encouraged to have an attorney review it. If questions are raised, they can be brought back to mediations.

When you are both satisfied with the separation agreement, it is signed, notarized and filed with the court.

WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE MEDIATION?

Either one of you can stop the process at any time. Remember, mediation is voluntary. A mediator can't force you to continue - and personally, if you don't feel the process is working out, I wouldn't want you to.

After a mediation terminates, either party can initiate court proceedings, or resume them if they had once been started.

Images courtesy of pixtawan, Ambro, ddpavumba, and vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

WHAT ISN'T MEDIATION?

Mediation Is Not (Marital) Counseling.

Divorce mediation is not (marital) counseling. The purpose is not to help couples stay or get back together. Rather, the mediator assists the parties through the process of getting divorced, helping them understand, explore and resolve all the issues involved.

A Mediator Is Not a Judge.

A judge will make decisions for you, focusing on past conduct. She or he will try to determines who is the “better parent”. But the mediator isn’t there to place blame. That’s because mediation focuses on the future. “How can you both get on with your lives in the best way possible?” “How can you each be the loving parents your children need in the future?” In mediation, you, the parties, make the decisions; no one else.

A Mediator Has a Different Role Than a Lawyer.

A lawyer represents one spouse against the other. A mediator, on the other hand, doesn’t represent either party. Instead, the mediator helps you understand the issues, and with that knowledge, you can better speak for yourself. (And, if you want, you can hire an attorney to consult with about the discussions taking place in the mediation sessions.)

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