In my previous posts, I wrote about The Decision to Try Divorce Mediation and the Consultation (Part 1) and the Sessions on Parenting, Income & Expenses (Part 2). I continue here as the mediator assists Angela and Bill in regard to their assets and debts.
January 7th, 2016 – Session #3
- The next session takes place over a month after the previous one. Meeting earlier hadn’t been possible, or at least practical. Bill had a lot of financial information to gather in regard to assets and debts (Angela also had, but less), and then there were the holidays.
- The mediator asks about what has been happening over the past six weeks. Learning that there haven’t been what either party considers significant changes or problems, the mediator asks Angela about the clothing expenses discussed at the last session. Angela gives a new (and lower figure), which Bill accepts as accurate.
- With income and expenses taken care of, the mediator works with the couple on their assets, again writing the figures on a flipchart. Angela and Bill both say that the numbers are correct. They quickly come to agreement on how to deal with the bank accounts, retirement money and other investments. There is a small dispute over the cars they own, which the couple quickly resolves. The big issue is the house. Angela would like to keep it, but buying out Bill may not be possible. Bill says that Angela can have the house, but she’d need to pay him a fair price. There is some discussion regarding the house. The mediator asks whether Angela has checked into getting a mortgage. Angela says she hasn’t, and Bill says that since a buy-out may not even be possible, maybe it would be best to go on to the next issue; Angela can do some investigating, and then they can come back to the house question. Angela says that is fine.
- Having reviewed the asset information, and having reached many tentative agreements regarding their assets, Angela says that she wants to continue with the session, but only for another fifteen minutes, as she has to pick up their daughter from a friend’s house. Bill agrees and over the next quarter of an hour, the mediator begins helping them share the numbers on debts/liabilities.
January 28th, 2016 – Session #4
- The spouses arrive. They continue sharing information on debts, and then review it with the mediator.
- They reach a decision on how to handle the credit cards, the biggest debt aside from the mortgage on the house. They agree on several other debt-related issues as well.
- Angela begins to talk about the house, saying that she would be able to get a mortgage. Discussion continues on the house, when a disagreement arises concerning the value of the house. Two disagreements, actually. One dealing with the actual value of the house – the fair market value; the other with what percentage of that value should go to Bill; Angela had assumed that they each had an equal share, but now Bill is asking for more. Angela’s surprise quickly turns to anger. The mediator intervenes when it becomes clear that a productive conversation about the matter isn’t possible at this times. He helps the spouses turn their attention to finding out the house’s actual value, which both agree is necessary. After a lengthy and somewhat heated discussion, Bill and Angela agree on how to have the house valued, in a manner that they can both accept.
- The spouses say they would like to talk about child support. They’ve managed to discuss this on their own and have come up with a plan. The mediator says that this is good news, and asks for the details. The mediator also tells them about the Child Support Guidelines; that NYS requires parents to learn what amount of child support the guidelines would require; even if the parents decide not to follow the guidelines. Angela and Bill share their proposal. They learn from the mediator about the guidelines and decide that their own agreement is better for their family.
Next time: A Divorce Mediation Case – Part 4 of 4: Agreements Reached & Reviewing the Costs
All blog posts are for information purposes, and should not be considered as legal advice.